old age

Life is funny or perhaps given our lifestyle its odd. We struggle all our lives trying to get somewhere only to find out when we get there it not there. Somehow in our race in life we passed it up along time ago and now we can't go back. There is not enough time. Perhaps we were never intended to get there. There was how we viewed and treated other along the way that counted.  Perhaps that is why I am not in a hurry to get there.

free reign

In writing we have to balance too much, not enough and just enough. This mixture is complicated. We as writer knows the story line and at times assumes too much or not enough in fleshing it out. The first draft will rarely give us the balance needed. It is in the revisions and editings where this transformation takes place.

To Nourish

A Gift to my Mother

As a child of seven, I wanted to give something special to my mother. I searched for a gift like no other, a gift to express my love and to please her. I wanted to capture time, perhaps not the present, and take her there with me to live forever. There was only one way she could go. I had to provide the key to her mind that would unlock her feelings. A key she had to exchange, of her own free will. Exchange the struggle of life for life. For you see that the struggle of life is not the same as life.I guest I wanted to give her life so she would never die and forever laugh and forever love me. But she could not see the beauty nor worth in my gift. She never had time. There was always something more important: the cadence of the struggle.
So I push on searching for that key that will give to me what I want to give to the world. Then one day I realized I was my mother.

Rule of Engagement

Now that I have gone through a deposition and dealt with lawyers or the literal pronouncement of that word " Liers " I see how they taint their questions: with preface statements and generalizations. Their perceived powers lie in intimidation and our acceptance of an unspoken rule of misguided admiration for these officers of the court. They create an atmosphere that is artificial and is easily piece if one question's their reality. Just this morning I received a call from an insurance para legal agent. I was rear ended by a pickup and I am seeing a doctor for my pain. The agent asked if I ever had pain in my back before.
I answered, " What part of the back are you referring to. Everybody has had back pain."
She answered, " I never have ."
I asked her , her age and she replied pretty old. I then told her that she had back problems, at her age. If she chose to acknowledge them or treat them, that was another matter. But she had back problems. It the normal process of our bodies to deteriorate. The question is, was it functional, was the back giving any trouble or limiting movement.

summary of topics:

1. perhaps possible but not probable
2. injured before no during which injury new one or old one.
3. Character referrence asks if act or personal opinion , lialist or a lawyers ploy
4. silencecan be condoning a lie.
5. Don't remember because it did not happen but because it did happen cause memory impairment.
6. Not conscious of pain shock and confusion mask feeling of pain.

a quest

I dreamed I stumbled on Bin Laden's training camp. He was very nice guy like George Bush but a lot more intelligent. He explained to me that he would share his story with me and he would allow me to publish it but I could never leave. To make sure that I would never leave he would have to kill me once I was finished. Talk about a rush.
Initially , I went there for an interview but re though my project. He wouldn't go for the idea of living diary that  I suggested but he was open to a novel. I also told him that sometime I omit words and have trouble with my spelling plus I have a slight case of dyslexia. To which he replied. You know you could be President of the United States.

a better day

I been reading a book called, " The places that scare you." In the few pages I read , I found a sense of peace in embracing turmoil. Very interesting.

making a reality

Last night just before I went to sleep I reviewed an old book on dialogue. It is interesting how a causal re-read of an old book allows one to see and understand things that one missed in the initial read. One thing I dismissed on the initial read was to italicize though as oppose to marking it with quotation marks. Another point was the importance of action verbs prior to dialogue to set the mood.

interest

I feel nervous and sad. I will be finishing something I started a long time ago. If it falls flat I will be losing a dream. That dream has become a drug of illusions and has blinded me to reality. I need to find out and this will be the year.

Brown paper bag

We all share a common bond. We all share the same fears and joys. We all need the same things: reassurance, acknowledgment and love. All those things fit in a brown paper bag. Share with us your needs and dreams. Tell us of your stories and I will share mine. Let this be our brown paper bag.